During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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