So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
