I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
