I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize