I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
