i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
