Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
