we have officially lost it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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