Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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