I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
