farters have to be the big spoon...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
