I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
