Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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