i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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