I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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