I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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