he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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