I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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