I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
