she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
