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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What did I say to him last night?

  (385): View more from Utah

  Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  all in all not a bad night

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

  Fav 17 5332 1384

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog

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• (845): View more from New York

  Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.

  Fav 2 1197 783

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• (850): View more from Florida

  It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.

  Fav 2 1243 614

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• (509): View more from Washington

  In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.

  Fav 0 88 6

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