he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
