so explain again why im purple
no
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
