Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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