I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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