that's an acceptable place to lick
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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