My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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