I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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