have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
