i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
