he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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