Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
