Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
