I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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