I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
