I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
