it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am midnight drunk by noon
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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