Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
