She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize