I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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