He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
