Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
