She is in my trunk
My cat gives me a boner
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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