He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
