hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
