what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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