she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
