3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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