Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize