I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
