some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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