she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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