If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
