i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
