My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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