K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
