im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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