That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
